10 Minute Meals for Toddlers at Witching Hour
Witching hour - that time of the day when the earth spins off its axis for toddlers and all is wrong in the world. The soundtrack is whining only to be interrupted by "Mum, Mum, Mum" until the whining begins again. At the end of a long day it's enough to drive you bat shit crazy, particularly when you're coming in the door at dinner and they are starving - the solution is to feed ém and fast.
Here's five 10 minute meals I knock up to subdue the chaos and that God awful noise:
I call this: "The whatever random shit you have in the cupboard" toddler dinner. They love it - they can eat it all by themselves, it makes them feel all grown up and while they revel in this moment of self actualisation, you can pour yourself a HUGE glass of veno and watch Ellen. Sweet.
"The Toastie Cheese". Yes we have all been there and we will go there again, comforting ourselves with the fact that there is a serve of dairy in that - huzzah! And if you're really brilliant and serve wholegrain (see exhibit A), well that has to meet their nutritional needs for at least a week. You can congratulate yourself on being an awesome parent by pouring a HUGE glass of veno and watching a re-run of Friends.
I call this "Lifesaving Leftovers". Prepare ahead, make extra the night before, one minute in the microwave or a few more in a sauce pan and SHAZZAM! Toddler suppressing device is served. Pour yourself a HUGE glass of veno in reward for your exceptional organisational skills. You're an awesome mother.
I call this little ditty "Scram Bam Thankyou Mam". Crack two eggs in a bowl with a couple of tablespoons of water and whisk. Sprinkle in the 1/4 cup grated cheese and few pieces of tomato, push around on a hot pan for a minute and BAM! Hear the sweet, sweet sound of silence. You grated cheese, you go girl! Get yourself a HUGE glass of Veno and high five that toddler. They're good for that.
I call this the "Don't judge me biatch, I'm over it" toddler dinner. Cereal. It's fast, its filling and they love it. Crack a few wheat biscuits, add a bit of warm milk and a drizzle of honey then pour yourself a HUGE glass of veno - your child has not starved. NB: I will not be responsible for what unfolds if you serve Fruit Loops or Cocoa Pops. That shit storm is all you. Just sayin'.
If all goes according to plan, you should end up with a happy little Oompa Loompa just like this. It's all down hill from here. Next step, hose it down, read to it, kiss its gorgeous little lips and say: "Goodnight and sleep tight Oompa Loompa, Mummy is off to pour herself a HUGE glass of veno".
Takes a bow - I'm awesome, I know.